Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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