I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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