I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
