Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
