Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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