I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She bit a glass in half.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
