i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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