some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
