May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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