Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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