I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
