thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We just shotgunned beers for America
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize