It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
