Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
