Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
