Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
