I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize