she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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