I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
