those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
