SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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