It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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