Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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