He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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