I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
