carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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