Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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