I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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