This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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