Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
