So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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