I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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