Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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