More tranny stories later!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
