I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
