I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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