you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
