ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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