i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
