I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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