I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
