I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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