Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
