you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
