Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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