Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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