I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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