I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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