I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
