You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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