i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
