ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
