as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
