wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
