My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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