Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
