Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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