i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
