I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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