yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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