he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
