chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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