Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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